Thoughts on Humbling & Humility, and Redemption…
I've spent the last four years humbling myself, humiliating myself and making gigantic deathly blunders.
Blunders in which lives were most definitely lost. Huge, idiotic, first-time mistakes of which I will not soon forget and I will never dare repeat, not as long as I live! But I had to learn them first. In life, you don't know what things are going to be like until you get there. Needless preparation is therefore useless on an unknown path.
I had to cast myself out into the chaos of the unknown in order to learn the unknowable. I had to hear the coyotes howling at nightfall and wonder if my herd would make it through the night. I've had to rescue my father from the belly of the beast.
These are the moments which change a man. In your youth you think you know so much and that the old know so little. Even as you get older you keep thinking this. But these doubts in your youthful thinking seep in over time. You look at the things you once did and you realize the folly of that naivete.
Then slowly with each season. You become better. First you must learn to walk, then your stride picks up, then you must run. With each season you learn more and more and that former hubris and doubt seeps away. You become more modest in your methods. You look out at your livestock with much more humility than you once did. They see this newfound confidence in your spirit. They act accordingly.
Seek the path my friend, become my brother-in-arms. Find your neo-agrarian journey and when you stumble, for you surely will at many crucial moments, take heed of my words. When you have such deep felt doubts about the hard journey ahead, remember my language.
Never give up hope, for you too can count the seasons left in your life, from which you can improve it.
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